February 16, 2005 at 5:47 pm (Rant Goodness)

For Sale—no, For Trade for Monoi de Tahiti—-no—not right…ok, I have it now….

WILL GIVE TO GOOD SOAPING HOME ALONG WITH 8 OZ OF GORGEOUS, ORGANIC, VIRGIN MONOI DE TAHITI:

(yeah, that's the ticket…)

ONE CAT–4 years old, not spayed, not declawed, much loved, gray tortoiseshell longhair. Answers to Desdemona, Messdemona, Desi, Desi-kitty, Fuzzball, Stoopid, "Shut the fuck up, nothing here is going to do you!", tongue-clicking noises, fingers waggled over a lap or at the side of a chair.

Comes with Cat Chow, 1/2 lb Monoi de Tahiti, hairball remedy, food and water dishes, snotty attitude, and a yowling, clawing, pain-in-the-ass case of being in HEAT!

See Agape's kitty page for pic, here's the URL.

***Disclaimer: This is not an ad–I will not be giving away my yummy, expensive, exotic Monoi de Tahiti oil. No cat dish is available; neither is the Cat Chow, hairball remedy, food and water dishes or any other feline life enhancers. Anyone assuming they can have my cat is out of their rabbit-assed minds. This is a satirical, parody post. I hate asswaivers but the nature of the Internet and life in these United States makes them necessary.

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