Life’s too short to eat green candy

February 16, 2005 at 2:20 pm (Funny Shit, Rant Goodness)

Here we are, two days after VD and I have made my pilgrimage.

Anyone who knows me knows I have a huge sweet tooth. For me, the neatest shopping days are the ones after a candy-pushing holiday, such as Valentine's Day–candy's at least half price and I don't have to feel like a total dipshit while buying more than one sitting's worth of goodies. It's a great chance to buy something I wouldn't normally buy myself, like boxed chocolates, or assortments of favorite goodies. Besides, I get much more for my money than I would paying the jacked-up costs associated with supporting this bloated commercial holiday.

That said, one of the things we picked up during the candy crawl was a bag of fun-size Skittles and Starburst. I like both of these, but I sit and pick the green ones out of the Skittles bags and pass them over to my adoring Honey.

Why? Why would I deprive myself of sweet, tart, lime-y goodness? Simple. It's not goodness–it's just artificial ick enrobed in a candy coating. Blick. Bleh. Ew. Yuck! I know there has to be a better lime flavoring than the artificial ester currently used by the majority of the candy industry, but I have yet to locate anything made with it. Lime essential oil is luscious and not very expensive–whyinhell would it be so hard for some company that needs gallons of good flavoring to go thru the process of getting a better flavoring when the base ingredients are plentiful and cheap?

I don't know what the problem is. All I know is that life's too short to eat green candy.


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