How NOT to make soap!

May 28, 2005 at 11:15 am (Soaping and Knitting)

I did read this Bacon Soap formula (recipes are for food–FORMULAS are for the Mad Scientist that lives inside every soapmaker). In between suppressing the guilty laughter at the thought of actually trying this puppy out (these dipshits didn't even filter out the bacon bits in their rendered fat!) and squelched shrieks of horror at the equipment recommended (uh, duh, do not put lye solutions in fucking Tupperware and don't expect that wooden spoon to stand up to the horrors of lye soapmaking more than once), I realized I was looking at the perfect way NOT to make soap!

I post this link with the great big hairy warning of: DO NOT FUCKING TRY THIS AT HOME!

You see, this is such a stellar example of how not to make soap, I simply HAD to share it! Come on, folks, BACON FAT? It's a lot cheaper to go buy lard (which does not ever smell like bacon, sorry to disappoint), or, if you have some serious objection to honoring the little piggie who gave its life to be eaten by NOT wasting anything it leaves behind, get some olive oil, or soybean oil, or, or….Hell, just go HERE to get a good grounding in how to make soap! You can get a lot of good soaping oils at your friendly neighborhood grocery store.

The one good note in this article is that nice big picture of the Red Devil can. I recently read a discussion list post where the lady was so happy that the pretty green color of the Drano she used came thru in her soap. I had to post back immediately and burst her bubble. One must use 100% pure lye to make soap; one cannot CANNOT use Drano because there's other chemicals in there that you shouldn't put on your skin EVAR! Red Devil is 100% lye–no pretty color, no pretty smell, no skin-eating shit to take the hide off you just like Grandma's pre-electronic scale soap would! If you don't have a soaping supplier close enough to pick up lye from, Red Devil, only that ONE shown in that pic, will reliably do the job.

Oh, and if you feel you simply must try this soap?

GET THE HELL OVER IT! You won't like what you get, and them little bacon bits are bound to be scritchy.

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