Allowance My Ass!

June 26, 2005 at 10:20 am (Pop Culture on Parade)

Oh, for the love of brass bras, Madonna has just given her eight-year-old daughter more money than the Gross National Product of a third-world country!

From www.contactmusic.com:

Pop superstar MADONNA has given her eight-year-old daughter LOURDES her own credit card with a $10,000 (GBP5,500) limit, according to a US magazine.

Friends say the MATERIAL GIRL hopes the exercise will teach Lourdes to appreciate the value of money.

A pal tells IN TOUCH WEEKLY, “Minors are not usually allowed credit cards so she had to pull a few strings to get it issued in Lourdes’ name.

“She is hoping to teach Lourdes to be responsible with money.”

Wouldn’t a small, weekly allowance make just a tad more sense than giving the brat a credit card worth twice what an elderly person gets in Social Security? It’s not as if the monster has to pay rent, utilities, food, or any other essential of life–you can bet the Material Mommy doesn’t bill that card for those little incidentals. No, little Lourdes can blow that $10K on Hello Kitty trading cards if it makes her nose twitch! She can take every kid she knows to the nearest amusement park in stretch Hummers and let them eat themselves sick on whatever the hell UK amusement parks let little shits eat, thereby purchasing the best friends money can buy.

Now, here’s the true question: What in blue Hell does handing a kid $10,000 actually teach? Does it actually teach that people need to prioritize their wants and fit them into a budget after they’ve taken care of necessities and obligations?

Or does it teach the little asshat that her mom will hand her anything she wants, all packed up on a little piece of plastic? Does it further teach that once Mommy Weirdest hands her a pile of negotiable moola, that everyone she knows will suck her tiny little ass for a shot at getting some of it?

Personally, I think the latter is more likely. If Madonna wanted to make absolutely, 1000% certain her child turned into yet another attention whoring, superficial, self-important, useless bitch, she could not have come up with a better way.

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