Biskie’s First Swear Words

September 14, 2005 at 11:45 am (Funny Shit)

Talking with Honey about those rare times when the Packers suck these days, he reminded me of one of those precious childhood milestones. This was in the first season or two of the Brett Favre era, before his recievers figured out how to catch his passes and the Packers were reminded of how to win at football. Biskie, my daughter, was just learning to talk. We were at Beo's house in Lice Lake, WI.

First, I have to tell you that my mother is a DIE-HARD Packer Fan. Remember the scenes in Die Hard where Bruce Willis has to romp over broken glass, and how awful that looked? Well, that's nothing compared to what my mother would do to get to a TV to watch the Pack on Sundays. We watched football EVERY fucking weekend, during the years when watching the Packers play was like watching a train wreck. I guess she just couldn't look away.

Anyhow, this particular season was starting to look promising, but there were times the only players who could catch the stuff Favre threw were wearing the wrong jerseys. Mom was on the couch, watching and muttering cuss words under her breath. Biskie and I were in the living room, half-watching the game and half-playing with something else, when Favre threw an exceptionally stunning pass, right to the wrong set of players. One of them caught it, prompting my mother to scream, "Sonofabitch!" at the top of her lungs.

Right behind her, as if on cue, two octaves higher, "Sonofabitch!"

My daughter, precious, beautiful, baby daughter, had just uttered her first swear words.

The whole house STOPPED–Mom looked like a deer caught in the headlights, I just looked at my Mom, and the baby played on. Then, I did exactly the wrong thing–I started to giggle.

I know, it's not good to encourage kids to repeat THAT stuff. I tried my damndest not to laugh. But it was going to happen whether I liked it or not. I started giggling, which started my mother giggling, which started the musical tinkle that was my daughter's laugh. What can I say–it was funny as hell, like it or not! Within seconds the whole house was laughing like potheads who just said "boobies."

My Mom did apologize, saying she hadn't wanted Biskie to learn to repeat the bad words as she learned to talk like my youngest brother Ghost had. Ghost's dad used to think it was hilarious to have him repeat things like "fuck" after his dear old dad, something Mom didn't think highly of (and less highly of once she got notes from Ghost's preschool letting her know that they didn't care for it much either). I did shrug it off, but it turns out Biskie's sisters and brother thought it was a scream to teach her swear words too. That bit me in the butt in another great story, which I'll save for another post.

I can still hear it, in that high, high voice.

"Sonofabitch"

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