Beo–Don’t read this or you’ll go blind

January 25, 2006 at 11:23 am (Uncategorized)

Laurie over at Stranded in Suburbia has tagged me. Although I hate tags for memes, I love Laurie, so I’m going to bend over and take it like a man. Beo, don’t say the title didn’t warn you–skip this post and go find something over at Jesster’s to read.

Seriously, bro, don’t read this one.

Didn’t you leave yet?

OK, I think he’s gone now, so on with the meme.

The rules: The tagged victim lists 8 different points of their perfect lover/partner, mentioning the sex of said partner.

Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on a post letting them know they’ve been tagged. If tagged before, no need to contribute.

8 attributes of my perfect (if such a thing exists) lover:

1. Sense of humor–must be intelligent and somewhat twisted. The occasional juvenile humor’s ok, but if your best funny line is, “heheheh…you said sex,” it’s not going to cut it. Also remember that too many puns will get you beaten upside the head with the remote control.

2. Honesty–If you can’t be honest with me you have no business in my bed or in my life. Life is too short to fuck with a liar on any level.

3. Maturity–I do not like saying, “ooooh, riiight there, now a little harder” one minute and “Do I really have to tell you that picking your nose just isn’t attractive? No it isn’t all right because we’re sleeping together,” the next. Anyone with a case of Peter Pan Syndrome need NOT waste my time. Been there, done that, and he stole the T-shirt because he thought it was cool.

4. Supportive–If someone expects me to back them 100%, he must be ready to do the same for me. I’m not a high-maintenance girl, but don’t expect me to stick behind you if you pull the rug out from under me.

5. Drive–My partner, above all, must have drive. I don’t just mean a sex drive–any imbecile who has passed puberty has a sex drive. I mean that he must want more from life than sex, TV and food. I’ve been here, done this, and I simply need more.

6. Understanding–I’m not perfect, either physically or mentally. I work on myself mentally all the time, but physically there isn’t much I can do because of the fouled-up back surgery. I don’t expect physical perfection either, so remember that any standards you apply to me should reflect an understanding of the facts at work in both our lives.

7. GIVE and take–I emphasize the “give” portion because too many people exist who forget that part of the equation. I have needs too, and while I expect a good portion of our “us” time to focus on you, I have an equal expectation that another good portion will focus on me.

8. Practicality–Another quality I especially look for after dealing with one too many people who lack it. I really don’t like dealing with people who have no common sense; I have little patience for it.

Guess that’s it. I’m not tagging anyone. If you want to do this meme just leave me a comment.

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