RbW, like we didn’t know already

April 18, 2006 at 9:24 am (Raised by Wolves)

Tom “Fucknut” Cruise has been in the news quite a bit in the last couple of years, having completely lost his mind since parting ways with former wife Nicole Kidman. Unfortunately, his notoriety isn’t due to good works or new projects, instead being centered on said mind-loss.

For example:

1. Tom appears on Oprah and shows less self-control than a 10 year old boy with ADD who’s off his Ritalin.

2. He meets, romances and impregnates a woman who’s been looking more shell-shocked by the day.

3. He proceeds to further demonstrate his lack of mind by buying an ultrasound machine for the sole purpose of spying on Fetus TomKat.

4. He’s declared a silent birth for the baby, including not allowing its mother to speak to it for one week post-birth.

5. He tops all the above with this declaration, quoted from The Sun:

TOM Cruise has claimed he will eat the PLACENTA after fiancée Katie Holmes has their baby.

Say WHAT? Either he’s trying to generate publicity for his new movie (that I won’t link here because I don’t believe in rewarding idiocy) or he just doesn’t understand that there are things that fall into the “No one needs to know this shit” category.

So, for his contributions to the increasing need for mental health care, idiocy and furthering pubic opinion of Scientology as an insane cult whose tax-exempt status should be pulled faster than the Shrub can say “Weapons of Mass Destruction,” Tom Cruise is once again awarded the Whiplash Smile “Raised by Wolves” Award.

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