Serra’s FAQ

April 24, 2006 at 10:52 am (Hellos and Goodbyes)

It’s occurred to me that there’s a lot of readers that are relatively new here, so I think it might be time for a quick FAQ.

Who the hell is Serra anyhow?

Well, Serra’s a soapmaker living in Southeastern Michigan who currently shares space with several people, two great dogs and a snobby kittycat. The animals are great; the people are really, uh, what’s the word Beo used to use when discussing a total pain in the ass at work? Oh–enlightening! Yes, they’re…enlightening.

What is a Serra anyhow? Why’s this silly bitch using the nickname?

Serra’s short for the name of a crack-coated–I mean, gorgeous collectible game card called Serra Angel. Since the angel’s not really appropriate for me, I shorten it to Serra. Here’s the card:

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Pretty, right? Well, I’m not blonde and I have a rapier, not a broadsword, but I’ve got a better rack than the card too, so I guess it evens out.

Who are the Enlightening Ones? Here’s a quick cast of characters:

Honey: Serra’s long-suffering fiance, an out-of-work automotive engineer (Hear that, Ford? Your outsourcing your design shit HURTS here at HOME–knock it the fuck off already! You have to keep getting everything redone anyhow, so why even do it?) who’s currently woefully underemployed. There’s always hope tho and any serious inquiries into hiring this skilled engineer can email moi and I’ll be happy to send it along.

H’sMa: Honey’s mom and my future Mother-In-Law. Before having to live with her the relationship was mild and mellow and liveable. After nearly a year under the same roof I’ve learned to watch what I eat, say what I have to say loudly and repeatedly, and to fully expect to be gossiped about in my own living space and misquoted out the wazoo. Have I mentioned that I highly dislike yelling, repeating myself, gossipmongers and idiots who don’t get the facts straight when they’re just unable to behave like normal folk and just MUST talk behind someone’s back?

Garand: Resident future brother-in-law and King of Porno, SE Michigan region. This is the guy the movie “The 40 Year Old Virgin” was based on, and he has no chance of changing it even if he should walk down 8 Mile with $500 in one hand and a bag of crack in the other. His habits are slovenly, his money all goes to feed his collections of books, DVDs and porn, and he’s not very nice to his mom. I’ve considered fixing this guy up with friends, but there’s no one I dislike that much.

Your Psychic Fiend: She’s the uber-bitch that lives in my head. She’s a seer whose gift has turned her into a seriously intolerant, non-PC, stubborn, nasty individual. I don’t let her out to play much; when I do, she usually winds up squelched in some elegantly nasty manner as punishment for insulting my friends and family.

Who are Serra’s saving graces?

Beow0l|=: AKA BeoJavBoBeoJavBoBeoJav, is one Serra’s brothers, a nice unique individual living somewhere in the Twin Cities area. It’s not possible to thoroughly describe this great guy so I won’t try–just read me and you’ll learn. His blog link will also someday appear in the sidebar, soon as I figure out how to work WordPress well enough to do so.

Ghost: AKA Ghostie, Phantom, the GhostMeister, is the younger of Serra’s two brothers. Describing him also takes forever since I love him so much. He recently relocated close enough for me to spend time with him and it’s been wonderful for her disposition and mental health.

BooBoo: Ghostie’s girlfriend, a Michigan native. I don’t know how they met or why someone so nice is willing to put up with the younger brother I only let live because it wasn’t legal to take him into the woods and leave him there, but I’m glad she does.

Various other friends’ names will be explained as they occur.

Why does Serra blog?

Because it saves the lives of those around her. I’m 600 miles away from my nearest family, have no car, my hobbies taken because I have so little room to work (after being promised that I’d be able to), I’m not currently on medication (perhaps I should be but it’s so hard to tell who the nuts are in this house that I think it’s crap that I’d have to take pills because THEY’RE the whackos) and blogging is cheaper than psychotherapy.

Why all the profanity?

Life is profane at times, whether or not four-letter words are used. While I do have an excellent vocabulary, there are times where one just MUST say, “Fuck you, the horse you rode in on, the brother who looks like you and your little fucking kick-me dog too!”

I think that’s enough for now–do feel free to check the archives out and comment anytime. I as always reserve the right to tell you you’re full of shit, and if you’re full of shit in a very annoying manner I’ll delete and ban your comment. This doesn’t mean I’ll ban those who disagree. It does mean I’ll ban those who are tedious, annoying, inaccurate or otherwise abusing the privilege of commenting here.

Thanks for stopping by!

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