Conversations #1

May 17, 2006 at 9:25 am (WTF)

I know there's going to be more than one of these Conversations I Can't Believe I Had to Have, so here's the first of a series.

Knock-knock-knock, at 10 pm. I'm in massive pain, as I usually am at night, this night's torture caused by shagging around looking for ear candles and ear drops, then slaving over the plugged ear of my ex-fiance (yeah, I know, he's not my fucking problem but I'd still have to listen to it until I did something).

Me: What? Grabbing for the covers because even in nice weather the furnace still cranks out heat because the Little Old Nazi thinks she's cold when it's 70 out, so I'm naked and trying not to sweat to death.

Honey: It's me.

No shit it's you, you're the only one who knocks before coming in and Garand no longer touches the door after the time he just walked into the room. Being a bitch has its uses.

Me: What?

Honey: Can I come in?

Me: Like I can stop you?

Honey: FINALLY opening the door…I thought I'd come spend time with you.

Me: We spent hours together today. I'm hurting a lot tonight…Tugging covers tighter.

Honey: Plops down on bed I'm forced to share for lack of other space to sleep in…I thought we'd spend some time together.

Me: You said that. What do you want?

Honey: Just came up to…

Me: I know. We DID spend time together, and now I'm paying for it. I'm hurting and your nutso mother has the fucking heat on so I'm sweltering under this comforter.

Honey: Well, just shove it off. I don't mind.

Me: I do mind.

Honey: You can be naked, it's ok, I'm totally comfortable with that…said with absolutely no clue that it's not his comfort I care about here.
Me: I just said I'M not comfortable with that. I gave you your ring back and I'm trying to find a way to move out. That means I don't want to get nude with you anymore. I don't have a choice when your mother turns the place into a sweatbox, but that doesn't mean I'm going to lounge around with you in the raw.

Seriously, I had to actually HAVE this conversation last night. Again.



  1. MoeThatsMe said,

    Kinda in the “What part of NO didn’t you understand?” bucket.

    I know it will do not good, but the old bat should put some clothes on or start moving to warm up. Jeepers. Your situation gives sweat along with the oldies new meaning.

    I’d be happy to turn the heat off completely, but my roomie’s from Florida -has been in the Evergreen State for 3 years – and is still cold when it’s 65… go figure. That’s shorts and tanks weather for me.

  2. vegasgustan said,

    That is just plain screwed up. You need a lock on that door and then you can be naked any time you want. Good luck with the new place. Hey I’m selling my Condo in Vegas…feel like moving? Heck, I could just rent it to you.

  3. pissy said,

    He is so wrong for doing that to you.

    and of course he knows exactly what he’s doing….jerk!

    His mom just needs to put on a sweater or something. I can’t imagine the power bills she must have….

  4. Vanessa said,


  5. Lynx said,

    Ugh! Sounds like the same ‘ol mind games my ex played with me when we were separated but not quite divorced! I don’t know your full story, but hang in there! Sooner or later (hopefully sooner) he’ll get the hint and stop this crap! ((((HUGS))))

  6. Vince said,

    Not to come to Honey’s defense too much, however, I must admit sometimes the little brain over-rides the big brain. I know I’ve treated the Wife like that before. Knowing she’s hinting (ok, telling) me to go away but I won’t.

    But I’m married to the woman. I would have enough sense to go away when you said you didn’t want to talk. A real man wouldn’t be that dense. Doesn’t he have a computer with access to porn or something?

  7. Paula said,

    I had similar conversations towards the end of my marriage. They don’t seem to get that over means over.

  8. Blair Bitch said,

    What, he wants to be your friend with benefits now?! Tell him there’s a new Hustler magazine out and get busy.

    I’ve known for some time that men are clueless but he just confirms it.

  9. Grend31 said,

    Sleep nude.

    With a taser.

    Problem solved.

  10. Serra said,

    MTM–I know she should. She should quit smoking too but her idea of quitting is to bum from people who have a fifth of the income she does. I just hope that someday I won’t have to listen to it.

    VG–Do you have an issue with me slinging soap?

    Pissy–Yep, she sure should. And apparently it never occurred to him that I might re-establish boundaries. I had to make it clear to him that the total ignoring of those boundaries I worked hard to maintain wasn’t fucking happening any more.


    Lynx–I’m waiting for the day he “offers” himself as my personal sex toy. I bet that’d be OK with him too.

    Vince–I understand that and due to the close quarters I’d tried not to be naked around him. I just felt it was mean. I don’t have a choice at bedtime tho–the thermostat’s on 75 and sometimes higher at night until the Little Old Nazi begins to wish for a/c. I tried to be nice that night, but…well, the conversation is as exact as I can remember it.

    Paula–Nope. He says he wants me to be happy but won’t agree to at least pack a few treasured possessions into his car and take me somewhere I can be happy either. Fucked-up, yes?

    Blair Bitch–He got told that a few months before the ring went back–with no intimacy outside the bedroom I’m not up for any in it either.

    Grend31–I like it! I wonder if there’s one here.

    Don’t look at me like that–you know I live in Packrat Central.

  11. The Ultimate Groupie said,

    Yeah, just move out as soon as you can. I know you are working on it.

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