Boca Java Notes: Blogs of Bravery

June 10, 2006 at 10:10 am (Coffee)

This is another in a series of reviews of Boca Java's Bloggers Blend line of coffees. While they sent me the coffees free of charge to review, they've not paid me to give good reviews only. They simply want my honest review, and that's what they get. See the category "Coffee" in the sidebar for other reviews of these coffees.

I finally got the chance to get this review written–sorry it's been so long in coming. It's been a tad busy around the homestead. This one's concerning the Blogs of Bravery blend, described on Boca Java's website this way:

'The Real Story in Real Time.' Front line fuel from a blend of South American dark and medium roasts to create a well balanced smooth taste.

I honestly thought it was weird to have both dark and medium roasts combined in one blend. I didn't really see the point…until I drank it.

THAT's when I discovered that blending the dark and medium roasts was a wonderful way to incorporate the rich deep flavor of a dark roast while preserving some of the caffeine content and complex taste of the medium-roasted bean. I found the aroma rich–the depth of the dark provides a solid base for the more delicate notes in the medium roast, giving the whole a spectrum of aroma I've never seen before.

I first tried this one as always black, and while it was nice, I would still rather have my usual creamer and sugar in it for my best experience. Although the taste is really rich and complex, adding the cream and sugar really finished the taste for me. It added just the right note to round out this cup's excellence. The taste was wonderfully balanced–the brightness of the medium roast was smooth and well rounded, and the dark roast added just the right bold kick to the overall taste. Adding the cream and sugar gave the whole cup the only thing this blend could have possibly needed–the mouth feel of cream, slightly thicker and smooth, letting the wonderful taste of the coffee bloom in the mouth.

I think this would be ideal for iced coffees–all that rich boldness combined with light bright teases of flavor would hold up excellently iced. I can't wait to throw this one in a blender with some milk, sugar and a touch of chocolate.

I will have to wait though–I went thru the half-pound generous sample that Boca Java sent me, drinking this gorgeous coffee hot hot hot. Good thing for me I get the coffee delivered right to the house, isn't it?

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Boca Java Notes #2–New Media Mavericks

May 21, 2006 at 1:31 pm (Coffee)

This is part of a series of reviews I volunteered to do on Boca Java's Blogger's Blends line of coffees. While I did receive the coffees free to review, I'm not the kind of girl who can be bought so easily–the stuff's gotta be good to rate a good review.

I'm one of the 500 folks who received a Blogger's Review Pack from Boca Java, and I got mine in on Friday (a day late due to UPS, not to the company). I'm loving it from the minute I get the tape cut open–rich, robust, redolent of all things good in coffee, the scent greeted me like the joy of opening a dozen roses. (Yes, I do like my coffee–why do you ask?) I got an 8 oz bag each of 6 blends, and I decided to start with New Media Mavericks.

Boca Java's website describes New Media Mavericks this way:

'Unfiltered Truth' Lead the information reformation with this medium roast from the prized Tarrazu region of Costa Rica with excellent body and robust richness.

I brewed a pot in the press pot this morning. My impression of the aroma was that it's lush-smelling but not harsh–I found it very mellow and deep. While a dark roast will put out powerfully strong aroma, this coffee's dance around the olfactory sense is more subtle, more complex and more alluring by virtue of not being brow-beating first thing in the morning.

The taste backs up the wonderful aroma, in spades. There's a touch of almost fruity flavor (not any specific fruit, just the note of a little bit in the background) that Costa Rican coffees are known for, nicely balanced, and the rest of the mouthful is just plain lush! Rounded flavor, mellow yet deep, it's complex without being obnoxious. The acid content is surprisingly low without sacrificing either caffeine content or taste.

As the cup cooled, it became plain that this isn't a prime choice for your favorite iced coffee recipe, as I really liked it better nice and hot. That said, it's the only complaint I have about it, and I don't much care that I won't want it for iced drinking anyhow. I have plenty of choices for iced coffees and frozen coffee, so it's ok that this one is best served warm. I liked it very much and I'm probably going to have the half-pound I was so generously given gone inside a week.

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Boca Java Notes #1

April 5, 2006 at 9:53 am (Coffee)

We all know how much I loves my coffee and that I really like my Boca Java service, but I haven’t gotten detailed about the great coffees. That, plus having some of you say you’re thinking about checking them out, tells me I should say a little more. You all already know I state my opinion, good or bad. If I didn’t like these folk, or only liked them a little, I’d just say so. But I likes them a shitload, so I’m saying that too.

See, this place isn’t all about the bad in life.

I’m going to go into the two Blogger’s Blends I’ve tried in this post–and then I’m getting the rest so I can try them too! The Blogger’s Blends are the best of the 7 or so I’ve tried, so I want the rest too. Now, please. Well, in three days, because I totally love the way they roast to order and that my coffee doesn’t sit in a stoopid warehouse for months before it sees the light of day to be sent along to my caffeinated ass.

Let’s start with Boca Java’s Blogger’s Boot Up Blend. The website’s description is:

‘Blogging Rocks.’ Log on to an amazing medium blend of African, Central and South American Coffees. Rich taste and smooth finish for the perfect breakfast blend.

Blogging does indeed rock. It seems that Boca Java’s owner, Bruce, has a blog–go check it out, both as a blog and for more info on the company. I loved the last line of today’s entry, “Plus, you get to drink at home where nobody can see your slippers!” There’s also info on how you can become a reviewer–the first 500 to register get excellent goodies and I lucked out in being one of them!

The Boot Up Blend rocks as well. The roast is really nice for the first shot of caffeine into the bloodstream–not particularly light, but not bang-your-head dark either. The flavor’s moderately rich, the aroma absolutely the perfect thing to smell when you get out of bed. The acid level is not nearly as high as the mainstream shit you find in a grocery store. I’ve tried those, and even without a pH meter I can tell those would strip paint if I brewed it as strong as I like my coffee. I have a bag of this one being roasted just for me, as we speak, coming here with my next shipment.

The other one for this post is the Late Night Log In blend. From the website:

‘Bloggers Fuel.’ Blog on with a very bold, dark roasted blend of South African and Island Coffees. This coffee is rich with flavor and has a smooth finish.

That little blurb doesn’t even begin to describe the delights. This is my favorite of all the Boca Java coffees so far–deliciously rich, tantalizingly dark, and not in the least bit burned-tasting like so many coffeehouse coffees*. The best word I can think of to describe the taste is “plush.”

From the first sip, taken without my usual additions to my coffee, all it needed was a bit of sugar and cream. I didn’t want chocolate, didn’t care that I was out of freakin’ flavored creamer (normally sine qua non for my morning java), didn’t even want to use my vanilla sugar. I just tossed regular sugar in and some milk from the jug and had a great morning cup. The aroma on this one will spoil you for anyone else’s dark-roasted offerings–it’s what I wish I could find in a fragrance oil because it’d make awe-inspiring candles and incense. If it’d hold in soap, so much the better.

I’m dying to try their Hawaiian Kona Extra Fancy. It doesn’t appear to be a blend from the description, which always earns points in my coffee snob file. Even if it is, though, this company’s stuff is so good that if it turns out to be a blend it’s probably going to pass muster with me. Until I get a chance to get some though, I’ll be saving my sheckels and drooling from afar.

__________________

UPDATE: Bruce reminded me about something–join the Bloggers Fuel club with my email address (it’s in the profile) and you and I BOTH get an extra $10 to blow on excellent coffay! Just email me and I’ll get the invite with the link you need out to you.

__________________

UPDATE REDUX: As of about 10:30 am Bruce’s Blog time, there are still spots open for the blogger’s review for Boca Java, so hightail yer butts over and make with the fun!

*I won’t name names on those–y’all know I love Caribou Coffee any way I can get it and which doorstep I wouldn’t darken if I’d been carjacked in the center of 8 Mile Road, raped, stabbed, shot, my lip balm stolen and left for dead, so there’s no need to bash them today. Catch me on another day tho and that could change.

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Gevalia, I hate to break it to you

March 29, 2006 at 1:05 pm (Coffee)

Gevalia has long been a favorite of mine, but between the hidebound way the club sends their stuff (Dunno if even my daily coffee IVs will use their coffee as fast as they insist on sending it) and that they keep shoving equipment with their intro offers that I don’t need, I’ve just never jumped and joined their club. All their email wooing has been for naught.

I’ve found a better coffee club: Boca Java. It’s seriously wunnerful shit, folks.

Over there where the renters used to live is my new coffee club. Actually, it’s the link to go check them out so we both get referral bonuses (you get freebie, I get points toward more coffee). They’ve got several types of shipment options, where you can set which basic set of delivered coffees you want, how often they foist it on you, what dates they ship, and exactly what you want. There’s even a blogger’s club.

Anyone wanting a referral for the blogger’s club, just send me your email and I’ll be happy to pass one to you.

So, go check it out and remember my email for the referral is serrathescented@gmail.com

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UPDATE: I have to say I’m pickled tink with Boca Java. Everything has been exactly as promised. I’ll be posting reviews of two of the Blogger’s Blends sometime today, 4/5.

And I bumped my next order up to come in early–I’m nearly out and I can’t have that!

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Ask Your Psychic Fiend: The Crap Coffee Again Version

July 22, 2005 at 10:09 am (Coffee, Your Psychic Fiend)

It’s another one of those mornings, folks, where the coffee is simply brown water and someone’s shoving food at me even though I’m up two hours early. I’ll try to channel the cranky Chucky into Snarky Serra for all our pleasure, so here we go with Ask Your Psychic Fiend.

First, the ass-waiver:

As you begin your journey with Psychic Fiend, please keep in mind:
1. It’s Psychic FIEND, not Psychic FRIEND. Your Psychic Fiend must be mindful of copyright infringement issues just like everyone else.
2. All answers are for entertainment only.
3. The ONLY offense intended is to those sorry cock-juggling thundercunts who pretend to have psychic gifts in order to make a buck and run up your phone bill. I have the utmost respect for those truly gifted with the sixth sense. I can completely respect folks who accept money for readings of Tarot and other divination arts, as honest, respectful and caring clairvoyants who serve a purpose in the Universe. However, lying-bitch charlatans like Miss Cleo and her ilk should be strangled with a telephone cord.

Your Psychic Fiend thinks putting the question block up Wednesday nights is working well, so it may continue, unless Serra forgets to put the damned thing up, in which case it’ll go up when Serra’s damned good and ready.

Mike from RANDOM RAMBLINGS asks:

Dear Psychic Fiend,
When will I return to sleeping more than 5 hours a night? What is causing the rash of 4 hour sleep nights I've had lately.

Your Psychic Fiend is going to use the Augury of the Retriever for some of today’s answers, and the first question is a good a place as any to start. Serra, get off your dead bitch ass and go brush Zeke and fetcheth hither the fur!

I’m waiting, Serra. Shit, what a slow bitch—she has two speeds, slow and reverse.

Finally! All right, let’s see what the…holy shit, a full 50 gallon garbage bag? Yeah, I know he’s a big puppy, but let’s get real! What’d you do, run an ad for dog hair?

Anyhow…

Answer: I see a woman, Mike. You want her, she wants you, and the two of you aren’t close enough together to make it fun to stay awake. She’s a nice lady, far as I can tell, so set up the meeting. Have whoever visits the other get a hotel room, just in case it’s like cold pancakes with molasses when you do get together. You should also take your next day off, borrow a dog, a great big friendly dog, and go walking a lot. Go play Frisbee with the dog. Wrassle with the dog. In other words, go play and play and play and play until you’re both exhausted. Then return the dog.

You’ll both sleep much better at the end of the day. Thanks for shopping at Your Psychic Fiend.

VegasGustan has another question for YPF:

Dear Psychic Fiend,

I am turning 28 on Saturday. Is anything big going to happen during this my 28th year?

VG, I turn once again to the Bag Of Hairy Fuzzy Clumps of Luv for the answer…fucking-A, who knew there was this much hair on ONE damned dog!

Answer: The good big thing’s already started. Your incredible sense of humor… ”slide off like snot” SERRA! Shut the fuck up—this is YPF’s time! Does YPF have to slap a bitch? DOES SHE? YPF didn’t think so.

Sorry, VG, she just doesn’t know when to shut up. Anyhow, just don’t say “booger” and you’ll have a great year, filled with personal appearances, groupies, paternity suits and sex in the champagne room (YPF knows you’re married, don’t panic over there—it’s a figure of speech here).

Play “Radar Love” for Serra every once in awhile, since the Roommate from Hell stole her Golden Earring CD. Write again soon VG—we both enjoy it.

Mona Buonanotte, MILF extraordinaire according to Sergei, has this to rattle YPF’s cage with:

Dear Psychic Fiend,

The guys at work are lovely, they really are, but ever since 'Dickweed Internet Guy' abruptly left, no one seems to know how the internet servers are set up, and I lose things every day (like comments on the lovely Serra's blog). Damnit. Oh Psychic Fiend, can you look into your crystal ball and see when the hell they'll fucking get their shit together? Or something like that but sweeter and without the frustrating swearing on my part?

Thanks!

Mona

Mona, I’m in such need of a caffeine hit that I’m breaking out the stash of Kona coffee beans I have in the freezer. Hang on a moment while I grind some. Hm, what to do with the old grounds in the coffeemaker. OH, of course! ~thwap! ~ We’ll let that ooze down the wall a moment, all right? Ahhhh! Brewing away in the Bunn. Now, for reading the Grounds of Destiny…

Answer: They’ll get their shit together when the firm’s lawyers present Dickweed Internet Guy with a subpoena requiring him to reveal what the fuck he did to your nice work server that’s making it look like his ass is indispensable. I can see it now—there he is, in a pair of Power Ranger Underooos, talking to the process server. Now he’s mentally adding up what it’s going to cost him to get a lawyer, fight the subpoena, the time off from his new job where nothing will work right without him either…and he’s tacking on the money he expected to get from his new “consulting” job with your firm. From the look on his face, I don’t think those numbers are pleasing him. Tough—you need your bitch fix and if you can’t get it here, you’ll go out on the Internet where it’s dangerous and try to score off the street. He’s a bad bad guy and he deserves what he gets.

Hope our weather eases off here, don’t you Mona? This boiling while sitting still shit’s getting really old.

Ah, now we have Grend31’s query of the week:

Dear Ms. Psychic Fiend,

A thousand and one of my most sincere apologies for not understanding the nature of your manifestation. And mum's the word on the topic of you-know-what as I'd very much like Mr. Wulf to keep his sight intact.

Ah, and now for my inquiry regarding the unknown. Smiggins has gone all AWOL the past few nights and I suspect he's been going out to these rowdy disco-tech mumbo-jumbo things and trying to hook-it-up with a lady friend or whatever they call it these days. Which is explicitly against his implied Man-Servant contract with yours truly. I mean, having my bedpan unserviced through the course of an entire night is really too much for me to bear.

So where has my Smiggins been going? I implore you to help me find out to what rapscallionery he has been!

Yours who's sick and tired of dealing with his own nightly dootie,
Sir Brigadiere General Grend31, Mrs.

Well, the coffee grounds are nearly dancing as they slide down the wall. They’re begging me to read them, so I simply must do so. I know, Brigadiere, you normally get the crystal ball treatment, but the answer you seek is fairly shouting itself from the wall where I flung that crap.

Answer: Smiggins needs him some too, Brigadiere. Perhaps if you gave him a night off to go chase Disgusting Girl or other, more suitable women, he wouldn’t be Absent Without Leave and leave you holding the bedpan. I see him in his lonely bed in the basement, behind the Atari 8-bit computer…oh, no, wait a minute, that’s Serra’s Honey the next time he leaves her without cigarettes and without a car. Smiggins is over there, next to the air conditioning unit, dreaming of snootches without end, all for him, all for him. Perhaps Rent-A-Wretch can supply you with a replacement one night a week while Smiggins Snatches a Snootch?

Serra: Look, we promised no more Seussian Snootch shit, YPF—stick to it!
YPF: No, biotch, YOU promised. They can suck our fine, delicately-scented ass and I’ll SnootchSeuss all I want!

YPF shakes her head…YPF’s gonna hafta slap a bitch, that’s all there is to it. Kind regards to Mrs. Caffeinated Brigadiere and scratches for Brigadiere Filbert.

Jesster, the aforementioned Mrs. Caffeinated Brigadiere, has a very good question:

When is the headache I've had since Sunday finally going to go away?

I’m going to have to dig out the crystal ball for this one, Jesster. It’s hard to tell otherwise.

Peering into the crystal ball, that song going thru YPF’s head once again…humming low and off-key…Oh, no he di-n-t! Looking closer…Aw, hell, that’d explain it right there!

Answer: Jesster, go buy some new coffee for home—that fiendish little brother of yours, Moobert Cowerton III, has switched your regular brand of coffee for Taster’s Choice Coffee Crystals. ON top of that, the little demon swapped it for the decaf version while he was at it! He rigged your coffee on you while he was house-sitting, as revenge for the tree incidents way back when.

Make sure all your shoes are still paired up properly too. Have a Caribou Coffee for me—I’m dying for one and have no transportation to go get one.

SJ from Give Me The Booger (YPF totally loves that title because she gets to say “booger”) has a question today also:

Dear P.F., will Harry Potter die in the last book? (please don't say you don't care, that you don't like Harry Potter, that you hate the hype, etc. etc. I just need to know, damnit, I do)

The crystal ball just shows YPF Hagrid flipping the bird to YPF before settling in for a cold draft of ale…wait—HAGRID, YOU BITCH—THAT’S MY COFFEE MUG! Never fucking MIND that it’s bigger than a Budweiser collector’s stein, I still use it every damned DAY you turd-basket! GIMME! Beowo1|= got me that for a birfday pressie and it's MINE ALL MINE!

Answer: SJ, Serra’s finally gotten her hands on the entire series of J. K. Rowling’s supposedly evil, witchcraft-preaching series and won’t be reading spoilers or letting YPF write jack shit about them until she gets thru The Half Blood Prince. Sorry, but she fully expects to Blog Ho’s fantastic claims about the plot, and isn’t going to put up with any scrying out of me either. Yeah, Serra’s a bitch, but it’s why you all come here.

Maybe you and I can get Honey and HeWhoSucksAtGolf together for a trip thru the front 9 somewhere—Honey’s not good at golf either, so they’d be gone all day and you and I can blog our brains out.

ESC, who gets to play with liquid nitrogen and all that fun shit Serra’s secretly jealous over, writes:

Will my dog EVER stop shedding??? good lord, I could build several yorkies with what I vacuumed up last night!

Answer: YPF doesn’t need Scooby Doo or anything but her garbage bag full of Zeekie-clumps to answer that one. They never stop shedding. It’s Jeebus’ revenge—Junior wanted everyone to remember his flowing locks and decided Man’s Best Friend gets the honor of reminding all and sundry that He never sleeps up there next to Big Daddy while batting The Spook away from his Froot Loops.

While you’re building cute little kick-me dogs, ESC, can you throw me together a Pomeranian and shove it in the mail? H’s Ma would adore one (they look like little honey-colored miniature Keeshonds, her favorite breed).

One more thing—you’re a fantastic grad student, you’re progressing nicely, and the breakthroughs you need to make to get your research working will someday be used by the plastic surgery industry to reinstall snootches in Nicole Ritchie and Lindsay Lohan.

Seamus, at the Bufflepup Express, has this question:

Ha! You see, I can be on time for something!!!!!!
So what is going to happen the day after yesterday?
Ok! Really! What really is in my immediate future besides facing a wicked commute?

One more trip to the kitchen wall…wow, those coffee grounds really do nifty shit when you fling ‘em just right, especially when you’re caffeine-starved and the brown water you just drank didn’t have any in it. Ooooh! Ohhhh! Ahhhh! Yeah, it almost looks like fireworks, the big chrysanthemum-looking mothers…

Answer: Your world’s full of fuzz, Seamus. Brown, black and white fuzz that cocks its head just so and looks at you like “You’re the Lord of All and please will you brush me Daddy now?” It’s going to be Bufflepup day at Damp Dog Manor but you and Bufflepuppy will have a great time.

Hugs to both of you and scratches to the Bufflepup.

Ian, fabulous star of stage and scream over in Argentina, has asked something I’ve been wondering about also:

Dear Psychic Fiend,

Will ANTONIO BANDERAS and PENELOPE CRUZ ever learn to speak English?
I just can’t stand that those two, living in HOLLYWOOD for such a long time, who works with speech, who are married to Americans, who even have to breathe in English! [They] have worse accents than me that I never left this fucking country (Argentina).

Please forgive the edits, darling—YPF uses Word to type this up every Friday and it gets testy in the spellchecker if you don’t cater to its every whim, just like every other misbegotten son-of-a-whore (by the way Ian, how would you say Son Of A Whore in Spanish?) Microsoft program.

Hold on a moment—I need to run this Great Pumpkin sized bag of dog hair out to the curb. It’s Garbage Day. Oooh, what a nice day! Just enough breeze. I bet this dog hair would float ten feet on this gentle wind. Let’s see…picking up a handful and flinging it high in the air…Yep, it does! And coincidentally it tells me what I need to know for your answer too!

Answer: I see their agents, Ian. I see this grease-ball bastard wiping the French fry grease off his stubby fingers onto his tacky green tie while saying, “Tony, Tony, Tony! How many times do I have to tell you, it’s the accent that gets the American ladies all wet and sloppy and willing to spend $12.50 on tickets to your movies? You can’t go around talking good! You just can’t, Tony!”

He’s got a point—part of the charm of actors from outside the US here is their accents. People love the lilt of a South American background pasted to inane drivel. It’s why both Penelope and Antonio make the obscene money they do for each film they’re in. People love listening to them massacre the English language—they live for it.

So, what’s the next stage project for you, Oh Sultan of Song?

And, so, another edition of As The Coffee Grinds is at an end. Your Psychic Fiend asks only that if you’ve asked a question, that you comment here, and that you go over to the UPS-looking icon and vote for your favorite slice of Internet shit. While you’re there, vote for me too. Help a bitch out, folks–the guy at #1 hasn't got an imaginative hair on his head (and steals Serra's material too, the little wanker).

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Your Morning Coffee

May 11, 2005 at 7:14 am (Coffee, Funny Shit)

This one’s dedicated to Jesster at Poor Role Model

When you get to the coffee machine,

1. Put your money in the slot

2. Select coffee

3. When a red box appears on your fresh coffee, click it

4. When a splash screen appears click on the word Apri

Tons of thanks to Alice Z in SD–I’m trying to get up the nerve to post the “other” link…but the kitty lovers will kick my ass for that one.

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