Stupidity Breeds Stupidity

April 29, 2006 at 11:26 am (Funny Shit, Pop Culture on Parade, Raised by Wolves, Rant Goodness)

The TomKitten is loosed upon the world. Brangelina have bred and are awaiting the results. Fetus Spears has already been the cause of one call to CPS. And now we have news that Fetus Spears V.2 is in production. I could go on with the list of luminaries that are about to spit out babies or have done so recently, but it'll just belabor the point.

The point is, I read daily on blogs and hear all over the media about "stupid people shouldn't breed," or "people should have a license to have babies," or some other supposed remedy for the multitude of annoying fucks who give birth to more stupid, annoying fucks. Last night on Mind of Mencia I heard what should have been occurring to all those who lament that the world is getting dumber. To quote:

Mencia: If you have one D student, who are they gonna breed with? ANOTHER D student! And when one D student breeds with another D student, what do you get?

Audience: DeeDeeDee!

Finally, someone ELSE who totally gets that combating stupidity requires guidance! His suggestion was to require C students to only make babies with A students to increase the chances of producing a child bright enough to pound sand. I think my idea is much better: Having smart people step up and out-produce the stupid people child-wise.

I'm totally serious! Make a smarter world, smart people, one squalling shit factory at a time!

You don't like seeing all the Raised by Wolves children who should be on leashes at the local mall? Have a child and do better raising s/him! The juvenile dumbfucks you see populating the parks are there because their parents don't know enough to realize that the condom on the broomstick beside the bed wasn't really how to make contraception work! You smart people have to out-do your dumbass counterparts and increase the contribution of intelligence to the gene pool before it's possible for general intelligence to increase. We intelligent folks have a duty to fulfill if we expect the populace to become smart enough not to vote in another near-total religious dictatorship to the White House. That's not going to happen if you smart people continue to restrict your reproduction.

Look at it this way: The new average number of children per family in the US is 1.86 (link is a PDF at the Census Bureau website). You smart people have to reproduce faster than that to overtake the morons–they've been at work already on the matter and will continue to breed in their disturbing manner while you're busily bumping uglies and taking home pregnancy tests. So figure on popping out three children per couple while you're planning your family, just to make your better contribution truly count.

Another thing to remember with YOUR better kids is to instill the right values as you go. Continuing to smarten up the gene pool is something that won't happen with only one generation's issue working on it. Once your kids become of proper age and intelligence, it's important to remind them that tainting their genetic contribution to the world by mixing it with the likes of Kevin Federline is not the way to make a smarter world. Teach your children the value of not being the person on COPS yelling, "Lock 'im UP! LOCK his ass UP!" and teach them to pass it on to generations to come.

It's really the only good solution, folks. We can sit and bitch forever on the subject, but being a caring world citizen means taking action. So, college grads everywhere, throw out the Trojans and the Seasonale! Find your local La Leche League and get ready to reproduce! The world is counting on you and so am I.