Stupidity Breeds Stupidity

April 29, 2006 at 11:26 am (Funny Shit, Pop Culture on Parade, Raised by Wolves, Rant Goodness)

The TomKitten is loosed upon the world. Brangelina have bred and are awaiting the results. Fetus Spears has already been the cause of one call to CPS. And now we have news that Fetus Spears V.2 is in production. I could go on with the list of luminaries that are about to spit out babies or have done so recently, but it'll just belabor the point.

The point is, I read daily on blogs and hear all over the media about "stupid people shouldn't breed," or "people should have a license to have babies," or some other supposed remedy for the multitude of annoying fucks who give birth to more stupid, annoying fucks. Last night on Mind of Mencia I heard what should have been occurring to all those who lament that the world is getting dumber. To quote:

Mencia: If you have one D student, who are they gonna breed with? ANOTHER D student! And when one D student breeds with another D student, what do you get?

Audience: DeeDeeDee!

Finally, someone ELSE who totally gets that combating stupidity requires guidance! His suggestion was to require C students to only make babies with A students to increase the chances of producing a child bright enough to pound sand. I think my idea is much better: Having smart people step up and out-produce the stupid people child-wise.

I'm totally serious! Make a smarter world, smart people, one squalling shit factory at a time!

You don't like seeing all the Raised by Wolves children who should be on leashes at the local mall? Have a child and do better raising s/him! The juvenile dumbfucks you see populating the parks are there because their parents don't know enough to realize that the condom on the broomstick beside the bed wasn't really how to make contraception work! You smart people have to out-do your dumbass counterparts and increase the contribution of intelligence to the gene pool before it's possible for general intelligence to increase. We intelligent folks have a duty to fulfill if we expect the populace to become smart enough not to vote in another near-total religious dictatorship to the White House. That's not going to happen if you smart people continue to restrict your reproduction.

Look at it this way: The new average number of children per family in the US is 1.86 (link is a PDF at the Census Bureau website). You smart people have to reproduce faster than that to overtake the morons–they've been at work already on the matter and will continue to breed in their disturbing manner while you're busily bumping uglies and taking home pregnancy tests. So figure on popping out three children per couple while you're planning your family, just to make your better contribution truly count.

Another thing to remember with YOUR better kids is to instill the right values as you go. Continuing to smarten up the gene pool is something that won't happen with only one generation's issue working on it. Once your kids become of proper age and intelligence, it's important to remind them that tainting their genetic contribution to the world by mixing it with the likes of Kevin Federline is not the way to make a smarter world. Teach your children the value of not being the person on COPS yelling, "Lock 'im UP! LOCK his ass UP!" and teach them to pass it on to generations to come.

It's really the only good solution, folks. We can sit and bitch forever on the subject, but being a caring world citizen means taking action. So, college grads everywhere, throw out the Trojans and the Seasonale! Find your local La Leche League and get ready to reproduce! The world is counting on you and so am I.



  1. Leon said,

    Who needs smarts when you’re rich and beautiful?

  2. vanessa said,

    Smart people know you need lots of dumb people to take out the garbage, wash the dishes and work at fast food restaurants (and perform entertaining feats of stupidity.)

    If smart people out babied the rest of the world, who would wait on us? We could make robots, but who would assemble them?

  3. Spider Walk said,

    I was on to your idea 13 years ago when I produced my first child. I have now contributed two to the cause of “Dumbing Down” the world…

  4. Serra said,

    Vanessa–No society can ever be perfect. There’s always going to be dumb people for those jobs. In addition, there’s children of smart people who need summer jobs to see that they don’t want themselves to wind up saying, “You want fries with that,” for the rest of their lives.

  5. vanessa said,

    Point taken.

  6. Mr. Fabulous said,

    Well, I COULD go out and have some kids, but that seems like a lot of work. Couldn’t we just sterilize the dumb people?

  7. Galaxy said,

    I’ve often thought about this, since a declining birthrate seems to go hand-in-hand with higher education levels. I can’t recall at the moment why this happens but it might just scuttle your proposal πŸ™‚

  8. Serra said,

    Leon–Beauty is only skin deep; stupid goes to the bone.

    Mr. Fab–See comments on genocide.

    Galaxy–That’s the whole reason for this rant. Smart people can control their reproduction, which is why smart people need to realize that they’re not contributing to an intelligent society. Hence the cue for me to do my normal talking out of my ass that you see here.

    Spidey–The jury’s not in yet on your kids. I’m betting they wind up being just fine.

  9. Jaws said,

    Trouble is stupid people will breed more then non stuipd people because they are to stupid to get birth control.

  10. Two Drink Girl said,

    But, I thought I was being smart by using birth control…dammit!

  11. special k said,

    Oh, sure. I’ll get right on that.

    I like the new digs!

  12. Nunya said,

    When I heard that Britney was prego again, I seriously asked myself why certain people are permitted to reproduce. There should be a law against that.

  13. Serra said,

    Jaws–I took that into consideration when I said that smart people need to breed more than the average spawn per family.

    2DG–It is smart. Being smart means timing your birthings, not never having them πŸ™‚

    Special K–Yep, I just bet you are. You sound like you’re just gonna get right on that πŸ™‚ Thanks–I likee the new digs too.

    Nunya–Good luck on enforcing a law like that.

  14. Ian, a Handicapped Bitch in rehab said,

    now I know why I wonΒ΄t have kids.

    why you quit blogger??????
    this system sucks!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. MoeThatsMe said,

    But what happens when you mix it up, and breed one smart with one not so smart… your chances are only 50% that the case will hold $1,000,000.

    I’ve done my part. Mine are split, thought the jury is still out on my daughter. I see glimers of the smart person inside, so I’m not sure the stoopid is all the way to her bones yet!

  16. xehuei said,

    The solution to prevent stupid people from breeding is to kick them out of the gene pool. The way to do that is to legalize cloning~! and flourish commercialized ‘gene markets.’
    This allows parents to ‘chose’ their baby. You know kinda like natural selection. But, then everyone would be identical because we all choose the smart ‘daddies’

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